My cat is in heat.
MY! CAT! IS! IN! HEAT!
The whole place reeks and I haven’t a wink for weeks.
She’s not my furry friend right now; she’s just a seedy creep.
Oh Christ! Where’d she go this time?
Shagging my shoes probably, or screaming off the balcony.
Quick! Close that door- she’s headed for the laundry!
She won’t shut up! Is there any more wine?
Maybe we could make some sort of gag from a ball of twine?
Damn! She tried to wake me up by pissing on my head.
If I weren’t such a pussy, little Bastet would be dead.
My cat is in heat, but then it’s through no fault of hers.
If she were her she’d rather hop up here and have a purr.
When will this be over? Where the hell’s my pet?
Indoor cat or not, she’s going out to meet the V.E.T.